Instructions on hearing Confession

Confession is a difficult practice. We are afraid that if people really knew us they would reject us. We don’t want to reveal our brokenness to another person because we think we are the only one who struggles with a particular sin. We all know we can confess our sins to God. But, in our overly isolated and private culture, seldom do we acknowledge that God’s grace also comes through confessing to one another.  If we truly are a family of people who have “all have fallen short,” God has encouraged us that we will find and receive grace from one another in our common desire to be surrendered to Jesus. In confessing to one another we often find the motivation, healing and encouragement we need to truly overcome our deepest sin patterns.

Richard Foster says in his chapter on confession from Celebration of Discipline: “God has given us our brothers and sisters to stand in Christ’s stead and make God’s presence and forgiveness real to us…it is through the voice of our brothers and sisters that the word of forgiveness is heard and takes root in our lives.”

We believe this at Vineyard Columbus. All followers of Jesus have been given the authority to receive confession of sin and forgive it in Jesus’ name, not just priests or pastors. In John 20:23 Jesus says, “If you forgive the sins of anyone, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” When we hear a confession we are engaging in a holy moment where we can come alongside a brother or sister with the gift of hearing. And when we have heard, we can pray and be a physical reminder of the forgiveness that freely comes as a result of our Lord’s sacrifice on the cross.

For small groups:

If you desire to practice confession in your small groups, read through the instructions below taken from Richard Foster’s book Celebration of Discipline. You can break down into pairs and allow each person a chance to confess. Or if your group is not ready for that, the leaders of the group can be available as a safe person to hear confession.

For the one confessing, Foster says there are three things needed.

First, we need to examine our consciences.  Make space for God to search you and show you areas that need his forgiving and healing touch.

Second, it is important to bring “sorrow” into your confession. This isn’t necessarily an emotion but rather a posture of the heart and a choice of will to truly regret that we have offended the heart of God by our sin.

Third,  desire to be rid of this sin in your lives and find real freedom. Even if the only thing we can muster is a desire for the desire to avoid this sin in the future – we must desire to begin to let it go.

Step by step instructions for confessing:

1. Begin with a time of silent reflection.
2. You may want to start with a general confession. Here is one that has been used by Christians for many centuries:

Almighty and most merciful Father, we have erred and strayed from your ways like lost sheep.  We have followed the plans and desires of our own hearts. We have rejected your holy laws.  We have left undone those things which we should have done, and we have done things that we should not have done – and there is no health in us.  But You, O Lord, have mercy on us.  O God, free us as we confess our faults. Restore us according to your promises declared to humanity in Jesus Christ our Lord.  And, most merciful Father, grant for His sake that from now on we may live godly, righteous, and clear-headed lives: to the glory of Your holy name. Amen

3. From here, you might be led to make a more specific confession. Ask the Lord, “Where have I rejected your instructions?” or “What have I left undone that I should have done?” If the Lord brings one or two things to mind, you can simply confess those things. . A general confession is a good place to start but a more specific confession will bring a more clear feeling of freedom and forgiveness.
4. After you have confessed, allow the person to pray for you for the forgiveness of sins.
5. You can finish your time by receiving communion.

For the one hearing the confession, Foster gives a few instructions:

First as the one hearing the confession we need to avoid any attitude of superiority. Detrich Bonhoeffer says in his book Life Together: “Anybody who has once been horrified by the dreadfulness of his [or her] own sin that nailed Jesus to the Cross will no longer be horrified by even the rankest sins of a brother [or sister].”

Second, we pray that we could radiate the love and forgiveness and grace of God while we listen.

Third, we must discipline ourselves to be quiet. There will be a temptation to speak and give some off handed comment or to pull out more details but we need to resist. If we feel they are holding back, the best method is to wait silently and pray. Give people the simple gift of your undivided attention.

Fourth, it is important to end with prayer and not just counsel them. There may be some counsel necessary, but for the most part we should simply pray a prayer of absolution over them.

Step by step instructions for hearing a confession:

1. Encourage them to take some time of silence and reflection.
2. Then they can use the general confession to start with and more towards 1 or 2 more specific things if they feel led.
3. When they finish, pray a prayer of absolution over them.

Lord you say in your word that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Therefore, give this sister/brother true repentance and Your Holy Spirit, so that she/he will find freedom from this sin. I pray that you would give her/him peace and that you would cleanse her/him and allow her/him to serve you with their whole life. I pray in the name of your son Jesus, whose precious blood cleanses us from all sin. Amen.

4. You may then give them communion if you are doing it:

The Lord Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” (take the bread)

In the same way after supper he took the cup saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink it in remembrance of me.” (take the juice)

5. Allow them to sit in silence for a minute and then finish with a simple “Amen.”